Why Do I Resist Taking Meds?

So I need meds. But why am I making such a big deal about it and putting up such a good fight? Maybe because my mom had a really bad reaction when she came off of them abruptly without consulting her doctor and I witnessed this all as a 6/7 year old and I am still scared of what 'meds can do.' Maybe because I have bought into the idea that I need to meditate and yoga my way out of this. Bike ride through it, draw through it, dance and listen to music through it, but when I start having crying fits at work, that's when I know it's time for meds.

I prescribe them all the time and have seen how helpful they can be for folks, but when it comes to me, I feel like I can do it on my own. I guess, I just need to let go of the resistance and come to terms that I need meds.

So here is the thing, nothing is wrong with me. I didn't do anything wrong. I am not in trouble. I am not being punished. I am not bad. I did nothing bad. I am not to blame. I am not at fault. I am not a quitter. I am not a failure. I have not failed just because I need to take meds. The truth is that I am brave and courageous. I'm making it less hard to get better and getting out of the way of helping myself. And thank God that there are meds!

Just remember, it's not a magic pill, all of my 'problems' will not go away. I will still have my down days, but I won't be as anxious, depressed or obsessive. It will take the edge off, so it'll be easier to get out of bed, go for a bike ride and continue self-care.

So I guess I am taking meds!

Bless these meds!