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Rain brings flowers
Spring into leaps
Spontaneous impulses and speech
Blooming pressure
No need for sleep
With this special mission
This is the new coming of age
And it's turning
It's crowding into me
The deceptions, misinterpretations, the ideas of reference
The delusions
So fixed, they take hold, nothing can unhinge me from this reality
CIA, FBI, government tracking me
They are after me
Locked accounts
Bugging phones
Scared
Unsafe
Unkept
Scams and screams
It's crumbling down
Poisoning me
I left the dog out and broke the bathroom sink
Called the police
Wandering streets
PRNs
Haldol, Benadryl, Ativan, Thoriazine, Olanzapine
Restraints
These lights are blaring and everyone is checking up on me
Vital signs
Still alive
Blood draws
Still warm inside
The air is dense.
No circulation
No direct sunlight
Sensitive soul
Interrogations, asking me
Are you having thoughts of ending your life, killing yourself, not wanting to be alive?
Sometimes
Hearing voices?
Maybe
Seeing things that might not be there?
Barely
Bizarre, strange, out of the ordinary
This is me. This is me.
What is normal functioning?
Burning bridges
Want to fall off
But I want to leave
It's time for
On the clock
Round about
Ring the Alarm
It's time for meds.
what about time?
What about time?
Don't, don't don't touch me
Meds over objection protocol
Involuntarily here against my own will
Your Honor I remain under oath
Requesting continued commitment
Due to dangerousness to self, others and property
But there's no need to be here
This is one of my favorite songs written by Sylvan Esso. They were inspired by the story of Jamie, someone with Bipolar Disorder. She was featured on an episode of WNYC podcast Radiolab.