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Dearest Vanessa,
You are more than half way through residency!!!! THANK GOD!! You have grown SO MUCH!! I am SO proud of you!!!! Your first year was in a pandemic!!! Your MEDICINE ROTATION was MARCH and APRIL of 2020!!! You saw patients develop SOB and then die!! You pronounced someone dead who was already in a body bag and you had to unzip it!! Maybe there was a miss communication with that one! Hehe but still you put your stethoscope to a none beating chest of a beloved patient!!! You had to search for PPE and put on PPE!! You’re mom was away in Colombia for a YEAR AND A HALF!!! You lived in an apartment that you couldn’t sleep in because there was a weird presence in the bedroom and the pizza shop across the street turned their parking lot into a MUSIC VENUE for lots of days out of the week! Finally when it was getting cold, you had hopes that the loud late night cover bands would end but then they got an outdoor TENT!!! And were partying in there throughout winter!!! GIRLLL!!! WOMAN!!! You are a CHAMPION!! A THRIVER!!! 24 hour calls! Sleeping on a borrowed sleeping bag in the call room! Night float for two weeks! FAILED STEP 3 by 3 POINTS!! Having to retake it!! AND then getting a 219!!! YOU ROCK!! Every trial! Every tribulation!! You felt it! You processed it! You rallied! You asked for help! Mentors, tutors, friends, family, GOD!!! You harnessed all that energy and went for it! I am so PROUD OF YOU! Also, your therapy supervisor died just as you were getting started working with him and God prepared you and him so well for his transition! So much grace and so beautiful! You are in outpatient now and it’s tough hurrying from one patient to another, not feeling like you are doing anyone a service in sometimes 15 minutes, saying hi and then bye, but you show up and give what you can! You love, smile under your mask and sometimes tear-up with your patients! Sometimes you even dance and sing with them! You address and encourage your patients to tend to their body, mind, soul, spirit, connection to themselves, to others, to nature and to something larger than ourselves! Perfectly imperfectly! You are on a beautiful journey of becoming no one in this act of selfless service. Shoutout to Ram Dass! Most mornings hehe :)!, you ask God/Universe/Great Spirit/Great Mystery/Creator/Divine Intelligence/Love how can I be of service today? How would you want me to be/think/feel/respond? What does this patient need to hear or not hear right now? God, thank you for being in the room with us, of course with the patient’s soul’s permission and when appropriate to the patient's needs and wishes. For inspiring us with strength, courage, patience, wisdom, understanding to do and be what you wish for us. For your love! Thank you for making me into an instrument/channel/conduit/vessel of your peace, harmony, balance and light. Thank you for supporting us all and guiding us through all of it! Help me to stay close to you, to bring you into every part of my day and lean on you more than I lean on myself as I continue on the path of residency and life! Also thank you so so much for the OCEAN and waves!!! Praise and amen!
Warm, sparkling, loving blessings!
Vanessa!