What It Feels Like to Have ADHD

Dysregulated: Scattered, racing and excited. I lost my keys again. Frantically bouncing from one idea to another. Hyperfocus kicks in, rabbit hole obsessions. Starting projects, all in. Great fun. The rush, truly feeling alive. Surge of energy. Less needed sleep.

Then the sudden crash. It feels dim and then bleak. I'm distraught. How could this be? Pointless and fraught.

Then another surge of the new, exciting, fresh, dopamine rush. Then the crash. Then the rush.

Maybe you have ADHD? Hmmm, how could this be? Ohhhh, yeaaaa now it makes sense. But meds? Give it a try. Oh wow, so this is what if feels like to be able to think clearly and be able to read linearly? But the meds aren't a magic pill and I don't feel super still.

Additional thoughts:

Feeling the need to explain the way my brain thinks. Oversharing. Not being able to sit through a movie, but if it is stimulating then maybe rewatching it many times. Or repeatedly listening to the same song. Trying to get that first hit. Starting many books at the same time, rarely getting through them or just reading the last pages. The hope of going through ADHD piles.

Distracted by sounds of the keyboard typing and sounds in the background that become the forefront. Mid afternoon dip. Crankiness, irritability, emotional swings. Tricky transitioning from one task to another.

Regulated: Balanced. Executing big ideas, creativity and vision! Centered and grounded. Practicing my coping skills, brisk movement, dance, art and pace. Sounds boring, but it feels calmer.

***Practicing publishing over perfecting.