Transitioning from Residency to Private Practice: Poem

I forgot about you in the hustle and bustle

The coming out

Perplexed by the uncertainty

Just trying to find ground

Without projecting into the future

Always living 6 months from now

In a different time zone

Jet-lagged and insomniac-ed

How long will it take to fill?

It's just an exchange

For skillful healing

How will you know me without knowing me

Maybe it's not necessary

Recognition

Acknowledgement

I sit in that chair too

I'm one of you

You are one of me

Just a guide

Just walking together

Want to go for a stroll?

I'm letting you into my head

Hope you will find your own way out

It's so easy

It's so simple

To hide behind the fears

I'm trying to be that person

The person who is already in me

Unburdening

Looking for answers but there are only signs

Vermont, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, California

Australia, New Zealand, Japan

The loop

The sacrifice and the relief

The light

Just 4 more months

Then study

Then some freedom

I don't want to just jump in

Too fast

Want to take my time

Need a clear break

To recover and recuperate

To freshen up

To come back to life

To home

Yet financial insecurity is bringing anxiety

Can I just let go and surrender?

Can I just make peace with not knowing?

Can I become comfortable with being uncomfortable?

Big risks reap big rewards

Going out on my own

Because I'm not meant to sign a soulless contract on the dotted line

There are no dots, just cold lines, a straight and narrow

I'm not to meant to be in sterile attire

Anxiety floating into Just Relax: